The ride to the center
Recently, I have been doing some more driving than I used to. Fortune has had it that I got into the possession of a car. A modified VW Polo, fitted with a few modifications (twin turbo charger, super-flat tyres and a gun in the front). So anyway. A few days ago I was invited to participate in a seminar near Utrecht, a town in Holland that is right in the geographic centre of the country.
I was warned NOT to take the car, due to impossible traffic situation that have to do with the Netherlands being the most densely populated country in Europe. After an extensive amount of very strong morning coffee I finally got moving. It was around 6 o clock so I was bound to encounter the pure joy of rush-hour traffic.
But fortunately my car was equipped with James-Bond-style gadgets, so my enthusiastic smile stayed on, speeding along the emergency lane. The gun was also very useful to motivate the yellow-license-plated snails in front of me.
I can’t remember much of the rest of the trip but a faint sense of being out in the woods made me aware of approaching the goalpoint (I had been only looking at the satnav screen all of the time).
I did it. I was in the center of the Netherlands. A place some miles away from Utrecht city. There is not much but woods and a large car park. It was quite cold and snow stuck beneath. But It did not scare me. I had a large amount of whiskey and German “Mettwurst” with me, so I endured, cutting a loaf of bread and making Mettwurstbreads, devouring them soonafter.
When I got tired of Mettwurst, I decided to go back home. I was also beginning to feel a bit cold, after 3 days of living in the car with wintery conditions outside. So I stretched my bones and made the decision. It was time to leave.
I drove up to the exit but there was a closed gate. It wouldnt open so I had to call the operater using the communication device attached to it. I shouted something in dutch at him, and finally the gate opened. I sped away, with the cheeky feeling to have saved the parking money. I honked and fired the front gun in joyful satiscation.
